By the time the Lord made mothers, he was into the sixth day working overtime. An Angel appeared and said "Why are you spending so much time on this one?"
And the Lord answered and said, "Have you read the spec sheet on her? She has to be completely washable, but not plastic; have 200 movable parts, all replaceable; run on black coffee and leftovers; have a lap that can hold three children at one time and that disappears when she stands up; have a kiss that can cure anything from a scraped knee to a broken heart, and have six pairs of hands."
The Angel was astounded at the requirements for this one. "Six pairs of hands! No way!" said the Angel.
The Lord replied, "Oh, it's not the hands that are the problem. It's the three pairs of eyes that mothers must have!"
"And that's on the standard model?" the Angel asked.
The Lord nodded in agreement, "Yep, one pair of eyes are to see through the closed door as she asks her children what they are doing even though she already knows. Another pair in the back of her head, to see what she needs to know even though no one thinks she can. And the third pair here in the front of her head. They are for looking at an errant child and saying that she understands and loves him or her without even saying a single word."
The Angel tried to stop the Lord, "This is too much work for one day. Wait until tomorrow to finish."
"But I can't!" the Lord protested, "I am so close to finishing this creation that is so close to my own heart. She already heals herself when she is sick and she can feed a family of six on a pound of hamburger and can get a nine year old to stand in the shower."
The Angel moved closer and touched the woman, "But you have made her so soft, Lord."
"She is soft," the Lord agreed, "but I have also made her tough. You have no idea what she can endure or accomplish."
"Will she be able to think?" asked the Angel.
The Lord replied, "Not only will she be able to think, she will be able to reason, and to negotiate."
The Angel then noticed something and reached out and touched the woman's cheek. "Oops, it looks like you have a leak with this model. I told you that you were trying to put too much into this one."
"That's not a leak." the Lord objected. "That's a tear!"
"What's the tear for?" the Angel asked.
The Lord said, "The tear is her way of expressing her joy, her sorrow, her disappointment, her pain, her loneliness, her grief, and her pride."
The Angel was impressed. "You are a genius, Lord. You thought of everything for this one. You even created the tear!"
The Lord looked at the Angel and smiled and said, "I'm afraid you are wrong again, my friend. I created the woman, but she created the tear!"
Monday, April 9, 2012
Selected courtesy - Anonymous
I ran into a stranger as he passed by,
"Oh excuse me please" was my reply.
He said, "Please excuse me too;
I wasn't watching for you."
We were very polite, this stranger and I.
We went on our way and we said good-bye.
But at home a different story is told,
How we treat our loved ones, young and old.
Later that day, cooking the evening meal,
My son stood beside me very still.
When I turned, I nearly knocked him down.
"Move out of the way," I said with a frown.
He walked away, his little heart broken.
I didn't realize how harshly I'd spoken.
While I lay awake in bed,
God's still small voice came to me and said:
"While dealing with a stranger, common courtesy you use,
But the children you love, you seem to abuse.
Go and look on the kitchen floor,
You'll find some flowers there by the door.
Those are the flowers he brought for you.
He picked them himself: pink, yellow and blue.
He stood very quietly not to spoil the surprise,
And you never saw the tears that filled his little eyes."
By this time, I felt very small,
And now my tears began to fall.
I quietly went and knelt by his bed;
"Wake up, little one, wake up," I said.
"Are these the flowers you picked for me?"
He smiled, "I found 'em, out by the tree.
I picked 'em because they're pretty like you.
I knew you'd like 'em, especially the blue."
I said, "Son, I'm very sorry for the way I acted today;
I shouldn't have yelled at you that way."
He said, "Oh, Mom, that's okay.
I love you anyway."
I said, "Son, I love you too,
And I do like the flowers, specially the blue.
Are you aware that if we died tomorrow, the company that we are working for could easily replace us in a matter of days? But the family we left behind will feel the loss for the rest of their lives. And come to think of it, we pour ourselves more into work than to our own family--an unwise investment indeed, don't you think? So what is behind the story?
Do you know what the word FAMILY means?
FAMILY=(F)ATHER (A)ND (M)OTHER, (I) (L)OVE (Y)OU!
"Oh excuse me please" was my reply.
He said, "Please excuse me too;
I wasn't watching for you."
We were very polite, this stranger and I.
We went on our way and we said good-bye.
But at home a different story is told,
How we treat our loved ones, young and old.
Later that day, cooking the evening meal,
My son stood beside me very still.
When I turned, I nearly knocked him down.
"Move out of the way," I said with a frown.
He walked away, his little heart broken.
I didn't realize how harshly I'd spoken.
While I lay awake in bed,
God's still small voice came to me and said:
"While dealing with a stranger, common courtesy you use,
But the children you love, you seem to abuse.
Go and look on the kitchen floor,
You'll find some flowers there by the door.
Those are the flowers he brought for you.
He picked them himself: pink, yellow and blue.
He stood very quietly not to spoil the surprise,
And you never saw the tears that filled his little eyes."
By this time, I felt very small,
And now my tears began to fall.
I quietly went and knelt by his bed;
"Wake up, little one, wake up," I said.
"Are these the flowers you picked for me?"
He smiled, "I found 'em, out by the tree.
I picked 'em because they're pretty like you.
I knew you'd like 'em, especially the blue."
I said, "Son, I'm very sorry for the way I acted today;
I shouldn't have yelled at you that way."
He said, "Oh, Mom, that's okay.
I love you anyway."
I said, "Son, I love you too,
And I do like the flowers, specially the blue.
Are you aware that if we died tomorrow, the company that we are working for could easily replace us in a matter of days? But the family we left behind will feel the loss for the rest of their lives. And come to think of it, we pour ourselves more into work than to our own family--an unwise investment indeed, don't you think? So what is behind the story?
Do you know what the word FAMILY means?
FAMILY=(F)ATHER (A)ND (M)OTHER, (I) (L)OVE (Y)OU!
Promotion isn't always practical
"Should I give up my fruit, so good and sweet, to go waving over the trees?" (Judges 9:11).
This parable sets forth delightfully a divine truth: promotion isn't always the practical thing to do. We Christians are encouraged to feel that we are where we are supposed to be; we have no inclination to rise above the crowd and to be accused of waving our virtues and talents above our fellowmen. We have our own peculiar position to fulfill and God asks that we be satisfied with that. After all, we all are watered and nurtured by the same God who has put us where we are.
Inferred here are several Christian virtues: humility, obedience, a sense of responsibility, and mutual generosity. It is better to be humble and fruitful than haughty and futile.
In effect, should I give up what I am now doing, which is worthwhile and useful, to take the offer of a position in which I may not be able to harvest what I consider is a heavenly yield? The Bible gives examples of this. For one, Gideon and his sons refused to begin a hereditary monarchy; Abimelech did, and anarchy resulted (Judges 9:5) for which he was to pay dearly.
And yet, excellent leadership is indispensable. Responsibility is necessary in any type of administration. We may be asked sometime to accept a position of what finally is accountability which translates to ability, reliability and liability, a large package over which to say grace. In the parable, the trees wound up with the thorn bush and got burned -- and the people got burned with Abimelech. The point is this: lesser and more ambitious people can bring down organizations and nations. Let us beware of the person who demands subservience to his or her brambles of unholy designs. We all get cremated in the end! If we have the God-given talent to help, then let us pray for holy ambition.
This parable sets forth delightfully a divine truth: promotion isn't always the practical thing to do. We Christians are encouraged to feel that we are where we are supposed to be; we have no inclination to rise above the crowd and to be accused of waving our virtues and talents above our fellowmen. We have our own peculiar position to fulfill and God asks that we be satisfied with that. After all, we all are watered and nurtured by the same God who has put us where we are.
Inferred here are several Christian virtues: humility, obedience, a sense of responsibility, and mutual generosity. It is better to be humble and fruitful than haughty and futile.
In effect, should I give up what I am now doing, which is worthwhile and useful, to take the offer of a position in which I may not be able to harvest what I consider is a heavenly yield? The Bible gives examples of this. For one, Gideon and his sons refused to begin a hereditary monarchy; Abimelech did, and anarchy resulted (Judges 9:5) for which he was to pay dearly.
And yet, excellent leadership is indispensable. Responsibility is necessary in any type of administration. We may be asked sometime to accept a position of what finally is accountability which translates to ability, reliability and liability, a large package over which to say grace. In the parable, the trees wound up with the thorn bush and got burned -- and the people got burned with Abimelech. The point is this: lesser and more ambitious people can bring down organizations and nations. Let us beware of the person who demands subservience to his or her brambles of unholy designs. We all get cremated in the end! If we have the God-given talent to help, then let us pray for holy ambition.
TV COMMERCIALS - Anonymous
A fifth grade teacher in a Christian school asked her class to look at TV commercials and see if they could use them in some way to communicate ideas about God. Here are some of the results:
God is like BAYER ASPIRIN - - He works miracles.
God is like a FORD - - He's got a better idea.
God is like COKE - - He's the real thing.
God is like HALLMARK CARDS - - He cares enough to send His very best.
God is like GENERAL ELECTRIC - - He brings good things to life.
God is like SEARS - - He has everything.
God is like ALKA-SELTZER - - Try him - you'll like Him.
God is like SCOTCH TAPE - - You can't see him, but you know He's
there.
God is like DELTA - - He's ready when you are.
God is like ALLSTATE - - You're in good hands with Him.
God is like VO-5 Hair Spray - - He holds through all kinds of weather.
God is like DIAL SOAP - - Aren't you glad you have Him. Don't you wish everybody did.
God is like the U.S. POST OFFICE - - Neither rain, nor snow, nor sleet nor ice will keep Him from His appointed destination.
and God is like TIDE - - He gets the stains out that others leave behind.
God is like BAYER ASPIRIN - - He works miracles.
God is like a FORD - - He's got a better idea.
God is like COKE - - He's the real thing.
God is like HALLMARK CARDS - - He cares enough to send His very best.
God is like GENERAL ELECTRIC - - He brings good things to life.
God is like SEARS - - He has everything.
God is like ALKA-SELTZER - - Try him - you'll like Him.
God is like SCOTCH TAPE - - You can't see him, but you know He's
there.
God is like DELTA - - He's ready when you are.
God is like ALLSTATE - - You're in good hands with Him.
God is like VO-5 Hair Spray - - He holds through all kinds of weather.
God is like DIAL SOAP - - Aren't you glad you have Him. Don't you wish everybody did.
God is like the U.S. POST OFFICE - - Neither rain, nor snow, nor sleet nor ice will keep Him from His appointed destination.
and God is like TIDE - - He gets the stains out that others leave behind.
Monday, April 2, 2012
Can anything good come out of Nazareth? - Anonymous
Jesus was the poorest man who ever walked the dirt roads of earth. Born in poverty and reared in obscurity, He yet lived to enrich mankind. A stable was His birthplace, a manger His cradle. For twenty years He worked as a carpenter in a poverty-stricken and despised village which bore the scorn of man as they asked, "Can any good thing come out of Nazareth?"
He began His ministry at the Jordan River, with no organization to support Him, no patrons to enrich Him. He publicly began a life of poverty that ended at the tomb. He preached without price, and wrought miracles without money. As far as we know, He never possessed the value of one dollar. How pathetic His words, "The foxes have holes and the birds of the air their nests, but the Son of man hath not where to lay his head."
He was an itinerant preacher whose parish was the world. When invited, He entered men's homes for dinner. When unasked, He went hungry. He sought breakfast from the leafing fig tree, but found none. He ate grain from His hands as He walked through fields of corn. His support came from the gifts of a few women, and His treasurer stole part of the pittance put therein. He walked on over the hills of Judea and by the waters of Galilee, enriching men, Himself the poorest of all. He slept often under the open sky, in the wilderness without food, by Jacob's well without water, and in the crowded city without a home. Thus He lived and loved, toiled, and died. His value was thirty pieces of silver when sold--the price of a slave, the lowest estimate of human life.
So poor was He that he needs must carry His own cross through the city until, fainting, He fell. In a potter's field He was nailed to that cross between two thieves, stripped of His robe, the gift of love, for which inhuman soldiers gambled as He died. With no estate with which to endow His weeping mother, He bequeathed her to the love of the beloved John. Then He gave His peace to the disciples, His pardon to the thief, His life for the world, His body to the cross, and His spirit to God. His burial clothes were the gift of a friend. He was laid at last in a borrowed grave.
Truly, Jesus Christ was the poorest man who ever walked the dirt roads of earth.
2 Corinthians 8:9: For you know the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, that though he was rich, yet for your sakes he became poor, so that you through his poverty might become rich.
He began His ministry at the Jordan River, with no organization to support Him, no patrons to enrich Him. He publicly began a life of poverty that ended at the tomb. He preached without price, and wrought miracles without money. As far as we know, He never possessed the value of one dollar. How pathetic His words, "The foxes have holes and the birds of the air their nests, but the Son of man hath not where to lay his head."
He was an itinerant preacher whose parish was the world. When invited, He entered men's homes for dinner. When unasked, He went hungry. He sought breakfast from the leafing fig tree, but found none. He ate grain from His hands as He walked through fields of corn. His support came from the gifts of a few women, and His treasurer stole part of the pittance put therein. He walked on over the hills of Judea and by the waters of Galilee, enriching men, Himself the poorest of all. He slept often under the open sky, in the wilderness without food, by Jacob's well without water, and in the crowded city without a home. Thus He lived and loved, toiled, and died. His value was thirty pieces of silver when sold--the price of a slave, the lowest estimate of human life.
So poor was He that he needs must carry His own cross through the city until, fainting, He fell. In a potter's field He was nailed to that cross between two thieves, stripped of His robe, the gift of love, for which inhuman soldiers gambled as He died. With no estate with which to endow His weeping mother, He bequeathed her to the love of the beloved John. Then He gave His peace to the disciples, His pardon to the thief, His life for the world, His body to the cross, and His spirit to God. His burial clothes were the gift of a friend. He was laid at last in a borrowed grave.
Truly, Jesus Christ was the poorest man who ever walked the dirt roads of earth.
2 Corinthians 8:9: For you know the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, that though he was rich, yet for your sakes he became poor, so that you through his poverty might become rich.
Blessings
“In all that you do, avoid grumbling and disputing, so as to be blameless and innocent, faultless children of God in a crooked and perverse generation where you shine like stars in a dark world ... ” (Philippians 2 14,15, Moffatt).
Dr. Charlotte Kasl wrote something that really touched my heart and made me realize that we take too much for granted in our lives: “So next time you sit down to a simple supper, crawl into a cozy bed, have a warm chat with a friend -- Imagine that you are at the end of the rainbow ... this is life, and it’s wonderful ....”
We lose sight of so many blessings in life. I think it’s because we have so many that we no longer even recognize what a blessing is. A few years ago I started thanking God for the hot water each time I take a shower. That sounds a bit silly, perhaps, but at least it makes me aware that hot water is a gift we take for granted every minute of the day to wash self, children, clothes and dishes. Just think if we stepped into the shower and no hot water -- just think if there were no water at all!
Harry Emerson Fosdick wrote one of the best books I’ve read on the character and characteristics of our Lord Jesus. It’s titled The Manhood of the Master, published in 1913. From the chapter titled “The Master’s Endurance,” I quote: “[Jesus] made the best out of one of the most un-ideal situations that ever faced a great soul. He did not demand a different farm to labor on; he went to work on the farm that he had, and grew harvests on that, which have been feeding the world ever since. His life sounds a courageous call to all of us: Stop whining; stop pitying yourself; see what you can do, by the help of God, with your un-ideal situation, for God never would have given it to you without some fine possibilities in it.”
I do believe we’d all be happier if we had fewer demands and if we worked on our marriage and our situation and our farm that we already have. One of my favorite verses is Psalm 16:6: “The lines have fallen to me in pleasant places; yes, I have a good inheritance.” What a promise that is when we become discontented.
Dr. Charlotte Kasl wrote something that really touched my heart and made me realize that we take too much for granted in our lives: “So next time you sit down to a simple supper, crawl into a cozy bed, have a warm chat with a friend -- Imagine that you are at the end of the rainbow ... this is life, and it’s wonderful ....”
We lose sight of so many blessings in life. I think it’s because we have so many that we no longer even recognize what a blessing is. A few years ago I started thanking God for the hot water each time I take a shower. That sounds a bit silly, perhaps, but at least it makes me aware that hot water is a gift we take for granted every minute of the day to wash self, children, clothes and dishes. Just think if we stepped into the shower and no hot water -- just think if there were no water at all!
Harry Emerson Fosdick wrote one of the best books I’ve read on the character and characteristics of our Lord Jesus. It’s titled The Manhood of the Master, published in 1913. From the chapter titled “The Master’s Endurance,” I quote: “[Jesus] made the best out of one of the most un-ideal situations that ever faced a great soul. He did not demand a different farm to labor on; he went to work on the farm that he had, and grew harvests on that, which have been feeding the world ever since. His life sounds a courageous call to all of us: Stop whining; stop pitying yourself; see what you can do, by the help of God, with your un-ideal situation, for God never would have given it to you without some fine possibilities in it.”
I do believe we’d all be happier if we had fewer demands and if we worked on our marriage and our situation and our farm that we already have. One of my favorite verses is Psalm 16:6: “The lines have fallen to me in pleasant places; yes, I have a good inheritance.” What a promise that is when we become discontented.
When You Thought I Wasn't Looking....!
When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw you hang my first painting on the refrigerator and I immediately wanted to paint another one.
When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw you feed a stray cat and I learned that it was good to be kind to animals.
When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw you make my favorite cake for me and I learned that little things can be the special things in life.
When you thought I wasn't looking, I heard you say a prayer and I knew there is a God I could always talk to; and I learned to trust in God.
When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw you make a meal and take it to a friend who was sick and I learned that we all have to help take care of each other.
When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw you give of your time and money to help people who had nothing and I learned that those who have something should give to those who don't.
When you thought I wasn't looking, I felt you kiss me good night and I felt loved and safe.
When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw you take care of our house and everyone in it and I learned we have to take care of what we are given.
When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw how you handled your responsibilities, even when you didn't feel good and I learned that I would have to be responsible when I grow up.
When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw tears come from your eyes and I learned that sometimes things hurt, but it's all right to cry.
When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw that you cared and I wanted to be everything that I could be.
When you thought I wasn't looking, I learned most of life's lessons that I need to know to be a good and productive person when I grow up.
When you thought I wasn't looking, I looked at you and wanted to say, "Thank you for all the things I saw ... when you thought I wasn't looking.'"
Author Unknown
When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw you feed a stray cat and I learned that it was good to be kind to animals.
When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw you make my favorite cake for me and I learned that little things can be the special things in life.
When you thought I wasn't looking, I heard you say a prayer and I knew there is a God I could always talk to; and I learned to trust in God.
When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw you make a meal and take it to a friend who was sick and I learned that we all have to help take care of each other.
When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw you give of your time and money to help people who had nothing and I learned that those who have something should give to those who don't.
When you thought I wasn't looking, I felt you kiss me good night and I felt loved and safe.
When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw you take care of our house and everyone in it and I learned we have to take care of what we are given.
When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw how you handled your responsibilities, even when you didn't feel good and I learned that I would have to be responsible when I grow up.
When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw tears come from your eyes and I learned that sometimes things hurt, but it's all right to cry.
When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw that you cared and I wanted to be everything that I could be.
When you thought I wasn't looking, I learned most of life's lessons that I need to know to be a good and productive person when I grow up.
When you thought I wasn't looking, I looked at you and wanted to say, "Thank you for all the things I saw ... when you thought I wasn't looking.'"
Author Unknown
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