This is one of my all-time favorite jokes:
The Deaf Wife
A concerned husband went to a doctor to talk about
his wife. He says to
the doctor, "Doctor, I think my wife is deaf because
she never hears me
the first time and always asks me to repeat things."
"Well," the doctor
replied, "go home and tonight stand about 15 feet from
her and say
something to her. If she doesn't reply move about 5 feet closer
and say it
again. Keep doing this so that we'll get an idea about the
severity of her
Sure enough, the husband goes home and
does exactly as instructed. He
starts off about 15 feet from his wife in
the kitchen as she is chopping
some vegetables and says, "Honey, what's for
dinner?" He hears no
response. He moves about 5 feet closer and asks again.
No reply. He
moves 5 feet closer. Still no reply. He gets fed up and moves
her, about an inch away, and asks again, "Honey, what's for
She replies, "For the fourth time, vegetable stew!"
And under her breath she's saying, "You stupid idiot!"