Tuesday, June 18, 2013

A Modern Version of Noah's Ark

        And the Lord said unto Noah, "Where is the ark which I commanded you to

        And Noah said unto the Lord: "Verily, I have had three carpenters off
        sick. The gopher wood supplier hath let me down, yea, even though the
        gopher wood hath been on order for six months. What canst I do, O Lord?"

        And God said unto Noah, "I want that ark finished within seven days."
        And Noah said, "It will be so."

        But it was not so. And the Lord said unto Noah, "What seemeth to be the
        trouble this time?"

        And Noah said unto the Lord: "Mine subcontractor hath gone bankrupt. The
        pitch which Thou commandest me to put on the outside of the ark hath not
        arrived. The plumber and his crew have gone on strike. Lord, I am

        And the Lord grew angry and said: "What about the animals, the male and
        female of every sort that I ordered to come unto thee to keep their seed
        alive upon the face of the earth?"

        And Noah said, "They have been delivered unto the wrong address, but
        they should arrive on Friday."

        And the Lord God said, "How about the unicorns and the fowls of the air,
        by sevens?"

        And Noah wrung his hands and wept, saying, "Lord, unicorns are a
        discontinued line; thou canst not find them anywhere. And fowls of the
        air are sold only in half-dozen lots. Lord, Lord, thou knowest how it

        And the Lord in his wisdom said, "Noah, my son, I knowest. Why else dost
        thou think I would cause a flood to descend upon the earth?"

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