Thursday, January 26, 2012

A Mother's Tear - Erma Bombeck

When God was creating mothers, He was into His sixth day of "overtime" when an angel appeared and said, "You're doing a lot of fiddling around on this one."

And God said, "Have you read the specifications on this order? She has to be completely washable, but not plastic. Have 180 moveable parts ... all replaceable. Run on black coffee and leftovers. Have a lap that disappears when she stands up. A kiss that can cure anything from a broken leg to a disappointed love affair. And, six pairs of hands." The angel shook her head slowly and said "Six pairs of hands ... no way."

"It's not the hands that are causing me problems," said God, "It's the three pairs of eyes that mothers have to have."

"That's on the standard model?" asked the angel.

God nodded. "One pair that sees through closed doors when she asks, 'What are you kids doing in there?' when she already knows. Another here in the back of her head that sees what she shouldn't but what she has to know, and of course, the ones here in front that can look at a child when he goofs up and say, 'I understand and I love you', without so much as uttering a word."

"You should scrap it and start over." said the angel.

"I can't," said God, "I'm so close to creating something so close to myself. Already I have one who heals herself when she is sick ... can feed a family of six on one pound of hamburger ... and can get a nine-year-old to stand under a shower."

The angel circled the model of a mother very slowly. "It's too soft," she sighed.

"But tough," said God excitedly. "You cannot imagine what this mother can do or endure."

"Can it think?" asked the angel.

"Not only think, but it can reason and compromise." said the Creator.

Finally, the angel bent over and ran her finger across the cheek. "There's a leak!" she pronounced. "I told you you're trying too put too much into this model."

"It's not a leak" said God "it's a tear."

"What's it for?" asked the angel.

"It's for joy, sadness, disappointment, pain, loneliness, and pride."

"You are a genius!" said the angel.

God looked somber ... "I didn't put it there."

Erma Bombeck

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